Writer: Jamie Lee Rotante
Art: Eva Cabrera
Colors: Elaina Unger
Letters: Rachel Deering
Original Publication: Betty & Veronica: Vixens, No. 4
Cover Date: April, 2018
On-Sale Date: March 7, 2018
Length: 19 pages
I’m sorry that there was no post last week and that it’s late this week as well. It’s due to a combination of work (my bosses are unreasonable), chores, and car trouble. I’ll have another review up later today to make up for it.
Before the story, there’s a recap of the previous issue on the credits page. The main bad guy is confirmed as Mad Doc Doom, a Little Archie character.
I don’t know what to make of the first page. It doesn’t seem to have anything to do with the rest of the story. Midge single-handedly wins a motorcycle race against the Serpents while her fellow Vixens cheer her on. That’s weird enough, but this takes place at Riverdale Raceway, and both gangs are wearing official team uniforms. Also present are Ambrose, Jughead, Penny (I guess), and Cheryl (I guess). A caption informs us that someone (presumably Midge) says “I got this.” This entire page makes no sense.
The next page is set at Logger’s Pond in “present day”. So…was the previous page a glimpse into the future or what? Anyway, the Vixens are out driving at night, and Ethel suggests getting some rest, but Evelyn says sleep is for the weak. Veronica says they have to be ready. Betty says they’ll be fine. They come to a stop. Veronica doesn’t like that Betty brought her plan to the Serpents without running it by her. Betty accuses Veronica of not trusting her. They get into a little argument, but then Toni points out that Midge is having a panic attack. Ethel tries to comfort Midge, who’s doubting her ability. Evelyn and Toni are upset that they’re not treating this seriously. Betty tries to assure Midge and wants her and Ethel to do some test races. She also tells Toni and Evelyn to ease up. Veronica informs Betty of the Serpents’ arrival, because…I guess she couldn’t hear the roar of the engines?
Fangs wants to race now instead of tomorrow. Betty protests but then agrees after Fangs laughs at her. He allows her to pick her opponent, and she chooses him. He accepts. Veronica tries to talk her out of it, but Betty wants to do this.
Right before they take off, Fangs blows Betty a kiss. Betty takes the lead and flips him off. Fangs catches up to her but then loses ground again. Betty wins. Midge hugs her and praises her. Betty winks at her.
Fangs calls for another race, asking who’s next. Midge volunteers, worrying Ethel. Fangs winks at Chester, a fellow Serpent. Midge gets on her bike, gives a thumbs-up, and says “I got this.”
As they race, Chester looks at Midge and tries to pull shit. Back at the finish line, Ethel is worried about Midge and rides off in search of her over Toni’s protest. Chester knocks Midge off her bike. Ethel witnesses it and tackles him in a rage. She throws him to the ground and then checks on Midge.
Back at the finish line, Betty hasn’t gotten anything from Midge on her cell phone and is worried. Not knowing what she’d do if anything happened to Midge, Betty mounts her bike, apologizes to her fellow Vixens (probably for any future actions on her part), and rides off. Veronica decides they’ll all go.
They come upon the scene. Fangs makes fun of Chester. Betty gets fucking pissed and yells at Fangs. Fangs insults the “townies”, calling them “a bunch of inbred idiots”. Fangs says the race was never the solution (also seemingly taking a dig at the retro feel of the first two issues), promising vague shit to come in the future. Betty spits in his face, right on his mouth. Fangs decides to punch Betty, but Penny (who’s suddenly here) stops him and gets him to leave Betty alone. Oh, and Fangs’ utterance of “bullshit” is censored. Anyway, Penny chooses the Vixens over the Serpents and breaks (or at least hurts) Fangs’ fist. Bubbles is here, too, and apparently the two women go back a long time. Penny vaguely mentions unspecified shit that Fangs had done to them in the past and suggests he call this all off.
The Vixens get ready to leave, but Fangs calls them bitches (censored). The Vixens then attack the Serpents and kick their asses. During the ass-kicking, Veronica says she trusts Betty and tells her to never apologize for fighting for what’s right.
Meanwhile, during a football game at Riverdale High School, Cheryl is frustrated that three of her Vixens are missing from the top of the pyramid, throws down her pom-poms in frustration, and storms off. Moose is missing Midge not being in the stands to cheer him on.
At Pop’s, Archie and Reggie, sitting in a booth with a chocolate milkshake with four straws, wait for Betty and Veronica. Archie guesses they’ve been stood up again.
Back out in the wild, the Vixens continue beating the shit out of the Serpents. Fangs is gagged, and Bubbles ties him to a tree. Chester attacks Penny from behind. Midge punches him out cold, drawing blood. Then she collapses in Bubbles’ arms. The ass-kicking continues, devolving into a cartoony dust cloud. When the dust settles, the Vixens stand victorious.
Monday morning, at Riverdale High School, Veronica, Betty, Midge (with her left arm in a cast and sling), Ethel, Toni, and Evelyn walk down the hall. Cheryl sees them and is still pissed.
In (presumably Ms. Grundy’s) class, someone (presumably Veronica) passes Betty a note, saying the Vixens will have their next adventure this weekend.
Later that afternoon, at Pop’s, a police officer informs Pop that the Serpents all vacated their camp and left town. Pop mistakenly thanks him and tells him to order anything; it’s on the house. The officer goes along with it.
Archie approaches the Vixens’ booth and offers to let Betty ride with him sometime this weekend, since he got his bike fixed up. Betty apologizes and says she has plans. Veronica winks at her.
On Friday evening, the Vixens are riding out somewhere in a deserted area. Mad Doc Doom looks at them through binoculars and smiles.
This was another good issue! It’s nice to see the girls kick so much ass. I’m looking forward to the next one. I wonder how much strain that the Vixens’ activities will put on their relationships with other people. After the story is a one-page cover gallery for this issue, another Riverdale Gazette article (dated February of 2018; this one talks about Fangs’ arrest early Monday morning; the Riverdale Police Department is thanked; the town curfew is back to its standard time of 9:00 PM weekdays, 10:00 PM weekends), the cover of The Archies #5 (all issues of which have been removed from Amazon as of around two weeks ago, seemingly due to legal problems), the cover of Cosmo #3, and the cover of Betty & Veronica: Vixens #5.
Tune in later today!