Comics – Take the Mummy and Run!

Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)
Pencils: Holly G!
Inking: John Lowe
Lettering: Bill Yoshida
Coloring: Barry Grossman
Editor: Victor Gorelick
Editor-in-Chief: Richard Goldwater
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 26
Cover Date: October, 1999
Length: 11 pages

Cheryl, wearing a golden diadem, ankh, and various arm jewelry, stands in front of a sphinx and fancies herself to be a royal princess of Egypt.

It turns out that she’s just at the museum with her mom and Jason, though. Jason comes by, showing off the tacky shit that the museum souvenir stand is selling. He makes fun of the “desert princess”.

It turns out that their parents own the museum, and Cheryl lectures Jason about learning. Penelope and Jamie come by. Cheryl’s happy to see her mom, but Jason complains about Cheryl. Penelope drags both of them to see the new addition to the Egyptian wing.

Cheryl and Jamie are impressed. The museum has the “authentic Egyptian mummy” of the pharaoh Narmer. Cheryl notices the painting behind the sarcophagus and correctly guesses it’s him. Penelope also points out his queen (possibly Neithhotep). Jason points out (seemingly somewhat jealous) that the queen looks like Cheryl. Cheryl says she always knew she was royalty in a past life. Jason insults her.

Suddenly, Dr. Carter, the archaeologist that sold the Blossoms the new additions for the mummy exhibit, shows up and flirts with Cheryl. Penelope introduces him. Cheryl gets a lady-boner for this middle-aged man with graying temples. However, Jamie gets bad vibes from him. Dr. Carter flirts with both Blossom women. Jamie uses her psychic abilities to look into Dr. Carter’s intentions. Cheryl’s in love, but he’s after the Blossoms’ money. Penelope introduces Cheryl to Dr. Carter.

Jamie pushes Cheryl away, bullshitting about her being late for her swing dance lesson. This confuses everyone (except Jason, who’s bored). Cheryl, still in love, says bye to Dr. Carter. Dr. Carter compliments Cheryl to Penelope. Penelope invites him to tomorrow evening’s gala and gives him an invitation. Seeing Cheryl on the card, he accepts. Jason’s bored and wants to leave. Penelope, irritated, agrees. She says goodbye to “Mr. Carter”.

As he watches them leave, Carter silently exposits about using his “suave ways” to sell the Blossoms fake shit (which he hopes to do for years). He tosses the invitation onto the sarcophagus.

Later, when no one is around, it opens, and a hand reaches out for the invitation…

The next day, at Blossom Manor, in Cheryl’s bedroom, as Cheryl’s applying her lipstick, Jamie asks Cheryl who will be her date for the gala. Cheryl says her dad couldn’t make it, so Dr. Carter offered to accompany her mom and her. Jamie suggests Archie instead. Cheryl lists Dr. Carter’s supposed important qualifications. Sugar’s just interested in Cheryl’s make-up on her vanity. Jamie tries to warn Cheryl about Dr. Carter, but Cheryl calls her a worry-wart. Jamie should just be honest with Cheryl that she’s still psychic. Cheryl has put on different gold bling for the gala, including a diadem with a triple moon (waxing crescent, full moon, and waning crescent), which is a typical symbol of the Goddess in Wicca.

In a while, at the museum, Penelope is pleased with the decorations. A short man named Jacques asks if they should open the sarcophagus lid now. She agrees, wishing the soon-arriving guests to view the mummy. However, to Jacques and Penelope’s shock, the mummy is gone. Penelope orders for the police to be called and the museum to be searched.

The mummy arrives in Dr. Carter’s office, where Dr. Carter is happily expositing his evil plan to himself.

As he’s about to leave to join the gala, the mummy confronts him, and a lot of unseen – but, no doubt, intense – shit goes down. Dr. Carter screams for help. Two cops arrive. One of them kicks down the door.

The cops are confused that there’s no one else in here. Dr. Carter just keeps screaming “Mummy!” Penelope and Cheryl arrive. As Penelope examines the smashed artifacts that she’d recently bought, she discovers they’re fakes. One of the cops discovers the mummy, who’s lying on a wooden board and clutching the invitation in his right hand. Penelope is relieved. Cheryl asks about the thing in his hand.

Penelope tells her. Cheryl asks why it’s in the mummy’s hand. Penelope says this is spooky. She guesses their “friend” was trying to warn them about Dr. Carter. Cheryl is outraged. She then asks her mom for her guess as to how the mummy got here. Penelope opens the locket hanging from the mummy’s neck and sees a picture of his queen inside. Penelope says “Cheryl, sometimes even hundreds of centuries won’t stop you from protecting the one you love.” Daaawww… Cheryl is left to ponder this, and the story ends.

This story is really nice. It doesn’t definitively state Cheryl is the reincarnation of the Egyptian queen (who might have even ruled as pharaoh in her own right); it just leaves it open-ended and gives Cheryl – and us – something to think about.

Regardless, though, why does the Egyptian queen look suspiciously like a modern Scottish-American teenager?

There’s a page of fan art between the two parts of this story and a “Flair for Hair” fashion page after it.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

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