Comics – Beach Party Blossom

Writer: Dan Parent
Pencils: Dan Parent
Inks: Bob Smith
Colors: Glenn Whitmore
Letters: Jack Morelli
Original Publication: World of Archie Comics Double Digest, No. 69
On-Sale Date: June 7, 2017
Length: 5

The gang’s at the beach, kicking off the summer with a beach party. It was Veronica’s idea. Everyone’s having a great time. Then Cheryl and Jason show up, and one of them (it’s unclear who) insults the party, which angers Veronica.

Jason shows up in gold trunks, and Cheryl shows up in a gold jacket and white shoes. Hmmmm, she’s smart enough to not burn her feet. Anyway, they weren’t invited to the beach party, so they’re crashing it. Veronica says this is a private party. Cheryl says Veronica doesn’t own the beach. Veronica holds up her cell phone and, without showing Cheryl the screen, claims she has a permit from “the Riverdale Beach Department” to hold this private party here today. If I was Cheryl, I’d call Ronnie out on her bullshit – or, y’know, ask Betty if they could stay. She doesn’t do either, though. She and Jason leave. Jason’s ready to leave the beach to the “commoners” and have fun on their boat, but this gives Cheryl a “delicious” idea.

Later, the gang’s having fun in the water. Betty regrets they couldn’t let the Blossoms stay. Veronica is surprised at this remark, although she shouldn’t be. Betty and Veronica get knocked off their floaties when Jason drives the boat by. Cheryl and Jason wave at them.

Veronica makes a fist and repeats her “private party” claim. Cheryl claims to be in “international waters”. Veronica points out that they’re twenty feet from shore. Betty suggests ignoring them and says they still have their friends. Cheryl takes off her jacket, revealing a red bikini (they really should have seen this coming). Archie and Reggie get boners. Chuck takes an interest in their “totally smokin’ boat” (sure). Kevin’s bored. Betty’s upset that the guys are ditching them for the Blossoms but then gets an idea to salvage their beach party.

She climbs onto the boat. Jason welcome her to the “big Blossom bash” (note: there’s no sign of any of the guys that have supposedly abandoned the girls). Betty gets Jason to talk up the boat, which he claims is “the fastest boat in Riverdale”. Betty claims two random guys in a much smaller boat were talking shit about the Blossoms’ boat and claiming theirs is faster. Jason is doubtful but decides to gun it, knocking Cheryl, who’s on deck, into the water. As Cheryl comes to shore, pissed, Veronica has a laugh at her expense, and Kevin’s got this look on his face that basically says “These stupid motherfuckers…”

So Betty’s plan was to knock Cheryl into the water, possibly endangering her life, just because the guys left Betty for Cheryl? Some friend. Well, I guess now Betty’s got all of the het guys, and Veronica’s stuck on shore with her gay friend and Cheryl.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

One thought on “Comics – Beach Party Blossom”

  1. You’ve got to admire Kevin’s integrity. Boners to the left of him, boners to the right of him, but he still refuses to lower himself to Archie & Reggie’s level of lechery.

    Liked by 1 person

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