Comics – Snob Hill

APNG161.jpg
Look closely, and you’ll see Cheryl on the front cover.

Writer: Frank Doyle*
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo*
Inks: Jim DeCarlo*
Colors: Barry Grossman*
Letters: Billy Yoshida*
Original Publication: Archie’s Pals ‘n’ Gals, No. 161
Cover Date: November, 1982
Length: 11 pages

*I don’t have the original issue and am reviewing this story from the digital version of Cheryl Blossom Special, No. 2 (1995). I don’t know if anything was censored or otherwise altered for this reprint. The story might originally be uncredited. The credits come from Grand Comics Database and may or may not be accurate.

Outside Pembrooke Academy (I guess), Bunny and Cedric come after Jason and Cheryl. They’re pissed about the two of them hanging out with Archie and Veronica. Archie, I can understand, but Veronica? She’s the daughter of billionaires, y’know. Well, whatever, they’re both “townies” to Bunny and Cedric. Oh, and Cheryl’s wearing a pair of very short blue shorts and a blue bikini top.

Cheryl tries to play dumb, but Cedric insists the whole school knows. After more blather, he says he and Bunny are in charge of “ethics control” in Cheryl and Jason’s quad. Cheryl and Jason are risking “demerits and public disgrace”. Oh, and “the wrath of the ethics committee will descend on [their] heads”, if they don’t stop seeing Archie and Veronica. In other words, nothing that actually matters; it’s just students being dicks to other students. After Bunny and Cedric leave, Cheryl is a bit surprised, because she didn’t know they’d “been so obvious”. Oddly, Jason calls Bunny an “old biddy”.

Jason and Cheryl admit they’ve been lowering their standards, but they live only once, so they give in to their every whim, no matter how shameful that the ethics committee thinks it is. They admit they want Archie and Veronica. Cheryl decides they’re gonna go to them right now.

Cheryl fears being “drummed out of the academy”. Um, I dunno what kind of bullshit system that Pembrooke has in place, but I’m pretty sure no school can tell you who you can and can’t date. Anyway, they’re gonna work together and “avoid detection”.

Cedric’s watching Jason’s car, and Jason figures Bunny’s probably watching Cheryl’s car. Um, so what? Cedric and Bunny are on foot. You could easily lose them. Jason’s gonna “burn rubber”, feeling Cedric will “screech” after him. Cheryl is to “run for home”, get one of their other cars, and head for the municipal parking garage. He’ll park on the sixth floor and grab an elevator. Cedric will follow. Cheryl will pick Jason up and tear off, leaving Cedric stuck two floors away from his wheels. Then they’ll “disappear into townie turf”. Um, here’s a better idea: go home, call up Archie and Veronica, make dates, pick them up, and take them somewhere out of town. Ooh, an even better idea: just don’t give a shit about this stupid, student-run ethics committee!

So they do just as Jason said. I won’t rehash it, but here are some observations:

Cedric’s car looks like he’s compensating for a small dick.

Cheryl believes walking and running are not for Pembrookeans; she then runs home.

Cheryl picks up one of her other cars, a purple Mercedes-Benz.

Jason “just love[s]” speeding up the ramps of parking garages.

When Cheryl picks Jason up, he has her wait, so Cedric can see them off. Then she tears off.

Jason wants Cheryl to pick up Archie first and then Veronica. Cheryl asks why not the other way around. Jason says Veronica’s place is more “acceptable” than Archie’s tract house, which they wanna get in and out of fast.

Cheryl stops at Archie’s. Mary answers the door and informs her that Archie’s not at home. Cheryl casually insults the house and asks if she knows where he is. Mary guesses Veronica’s. Cheryl politely addresses Mary and then leaves. Cheryl states Archie’s at Veronica’s as fact. They head to Lodge Manor and admire it. Unfortunately, Bunny’s been waiting here this whole time.

Cheryl’s dumbfounded, but Bunny explains they “simply anticipated [her] strategy”. Yeah, she thinks Cheryl came up with the idea. Bunny lectures them for a while and then suggests they return to the academy or “suffer the consequences”. Bunny also informs Cheryl that she could have used her other car; she wasn’t watching it; she came directly here. So Cheryl drives Jason back to Pembrooke Academy, and Bunny follows them. Jason and Cheryl vow to keep trying.

Pretty stupid premise for a story. Also, Cheryl and Jason will now have to figure out how to get three cars home.

The story is followed by a Cheryl Blossom’s Fashions page (called “Strictly Stripes”) of Cheryl wearing reader-submitted fashions. As was previously the case, these fashions were probably meant for Betty and/or Veronica and then thrown on Cheryl.

This story was reprinted as a flashback within the “Life’s A Circus” story in Cheryl Blossom Special, No. 2, in 1995.

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Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

2 thoughts on “Comics – Snob Hill”

  1. In the eyes of the Pembrooke crowd, Veronica’s sins are guilt by association. She doesn’t go to Pembrooke, she goes to RHS (eew, how tragically declasse), and spends all her time hanging out with the townies. She’s not properly snooty enough for the Pembrooke clique, mixing with the riff-raff.

    I think this story is from the time period when Cheryl’s parents were nouveau-riche multi-billionaires, even richer than the Lodges (who are an old-money family). Of course that doesn’t say anything about the rest of the Pembrooke crowd or the families they come from. But the source of the Blossom wealth may not have been established at that point, now that I think of it, since later stories mentioned something about Mr. Blossom having made his fortune in either software or dot-coms.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I think this was only Cheryl and Jason’s third appearance. I don’t think their parents even show up until Cheryl’s solo miniseries. It’s eventually established Clifford’s a software engineer or something. In the “Get Out of Town” story in which the Blossoms regain their wealth, they do so because Clifford invented and sold a Google knockoff (which was already painfully dated when it was published) for billions of dollars.

      Liked by 1 person

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