Comics – Life’s A Circus

Writer: Dan Parent
Pencils: Dan Parent
Inking: Rudy Lapick
Lettering: Bill Yoshida
Coloring: Barry Grossman
Editor: Scott Fulop
Managing Editor: Victor Gorelick
Editor-in-Chief: Richard Goldwater
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom Special, No. 2
Cover Date: 1995
Length: 24 pages (including 11 pages of reprints)

Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.

There’s a 1-page introduction to Cheryl before the story.

Somewhere outside, Veronica spots Cheryl with a “hunk” and asks who he is. Betty doesn’t give a fuck as long as it’s not Archie. Cheryl walks over to them and introduces Louis. Louis says hi. Betty and Veronica get instant lady-boners over Cheryl’s guy. Cheryl explains Louis is a performer with a traveling carnival that’s in town.

Louis says his family has performed their carnival act for years. Veronica and Betty flirt with Louis. Cheryl tells them to back off, and Ronnie takes offense to that. Cheryl says she’ll see the girls around and has to show Louis the sights. Louis says maybe he’ll see them at the carnival. Betty is in disbelief that Cheryl considers them to be potential competition. Ronnie’s pissed about that, considering Cheryl’s history with Archie.

Ronnie decides (and Betty agrees) they’re gonna compete with Cheryl for Louis in order to pay Cheryl back. Ronnie decides they’re gonna go tomorrow. Then Jason randomly runs into Ronnie and knocks her on her ass on his way to the carnival. Um, two questions: Why isn’t he driving? And how does he think this will get him laid? Oh, by the way, this is the “spring carnival”. Anyway, Ronnie remembers a story that she heard from a friend of Bunny at Pembrooke and tells it to Betty.

The next 11 pages are a reprint of the 1980s story, “Snob Hill“, presented as a third-hand account from Veronica.

This convinces Ronnie to “go in for the kill”. Betty agrees.

The next day, Cheryl shows up at the carnival, eager to see Louis, but finds him with Betty and Veronica. Her “friends” came to watch him practice. Ronnie explains Louis is going to show them the sights of the carnival before he works out. Betty is delighted that they pissed Cheryl off. Cheryl overhears, unties a tent, and covers them.

Later, Reggie finds “Blossom” fuming over his “butt-in-ski” friends. Um, ski-in-butt might be possible (with a lot of lube), but I’m not sure about the other way around. Reggie offers his services (in the hope of getting laid, of course). Cheryl accepts. Reggie whispers his plan, which involves some carnival workers doing some stuff for extra cash (out of Cheryl’s pocket).

Inside the circus tent, Betty marvels at the trapeze guy, but Louis finds it strange that they’re practicing now. The trapeze guy picks Ronnie up unexpectedly, and Betty thinks nothing of it except to crack a dumb joke. Then another trapeze guy does the same to Betty. Cheryl shows up and offers to take Louis to lunch. Ronnie’s pissed and wants to swing down to them. Betty tries to stop her and ends up having to hold on to Ronnie. Ronnie cries for help. Cheryl’s pleased.

After lunch, Cheryl suggests they sign up for the outdoor follies together, but Louis says he’s entering the competition with Betty and Veronica. Cheryl pretends it’s okay but then connives with Reggie to sabotage it. During Louis and Ronnie’s three-legged sack race, Cheryl radios Reggie.

Reggie trips them, making Cheryl laugh. Louis spots the rope and guesses they’ve been sabotaged. Betty brushes it off and wants to concentrate on the next event. By the way, sometime during lunch, all three girls completely changed clothes, and Betty switched from a ponytail to pigtails. The next event is a limbo contest. Cheryl got the trapeze guys from before to hold the stick.

This is “couples limbo”. Betty and Louis are up first; Betty falls in the mud, but Louis avoids it, because it’s his “professional specialty” (he’s a contortionist; it’s a family talent). He thinks he knows why things are going wrong.

He guesses Cheryl is sabotaging them (he recognized the “limbo henchmen” from before). Louis whispers an idea to them.

Louis asks Cheryl to spend the rest of the day with him, and she agrees. Louis points out that Betty’s volunteering at the dunking booth. Cheryl wants to give it a shot. By the way, I don’t need to tell you that everyone involved has changed clothes yet again, do I? Good. Moving on.

Cheryl claims she’s a good shot. Betty tells Cheryl to give it her best. Cheryl hits the bullseye, and then the platform that she’s standing on opens up (outward), and she falls into water…somefuckinghow. Louis laughs at her but then offers to help her dry off. Oh, isn’t that nice of you? Afterward, Ronnie offers to treat them to cotton candy.

Cheryl somehow walks close enough to the cotton candy machine that Ronnie shoves her in (with help from Reggie, who trips her). Cheryl yells for help but then gets out herself. Cheryl’s pissed at Reggie. Reggie reveals he betrayed her, because she wasn’t giving up on Louis (um, he expected her to? Louis is her guy, after all). An angry Cheryl declares they all win and leaves in frustration, declaring she needs “classier friends”. The others laugh at her.

The next day, Louis is showing off his contortions for Betty and Veronica…constantly, and they’re getting fucking sick of it. Veronica and Betty walk off to talk about him being a loser. Cheryl walks by with Archie; they’re going to take in the sights of the carnival; Cheryl’s just “trying to be a good loser”. This leaves Ronnie and Betty perplexed and frustrated.

This story is pretty fun. Not much else to say.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

One thought on “Comics – Life’s A Circus”

  1. So Cheryl looks down on townies, but instead hangs out with a carny. Carnival folks are usually put on about the same level as “trailer trash” — a bunch of lowbrow itinerant workers who don’t have any real employment skills. At first I was waiting to see how Dan Parent might work a cameo or guest appearance of The Carneys into the story, but then I recalled that CB Special #3 came out years and years after that one-shot, so it really makes no sense whatsoever, except that you can tell that Dan likes to put carnival people into his stories. Then again, it’s already been established that Cheryl has made some mighty weird choices when it comes to dating.

    Liked by 1 person

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