Comics – Fake ‘N’ Bake

Archie-Double-Digest-302Writer: Francis Bonnet
Pencils: Jeff Shultz
Inks: Bob Smith
Colors: Glenn Whitmore
Letters: Jack Morelli
Original Publication: Archie Comics Double Digest, No. 302
On-Sale Date: September 4, 2019
Length: 5 pages

In a hallway in Riverdale High School, Reggie points out an unusually-worded flier on the bulletin board. The basic gist is there’s gonna be a bake-off contest tomorrow at the Riverdale Fall Festival. Upon hearing this, Betty wants to enter her apple pie, which Archie likes. Veronica brings up her pumpkin pie, which Reggie likes. Reggie and Archie back up Ronnie and Betty, respectively. Ah, yes, remember those high school memories where guys would argue over which girl baked the best pie? No? Oh, well, this is what they think is normal teenage behavior. Anyway, Jughead gets hungry. Reggie proposes the guys help the girls with their pies and enter the contest to see who wins. Jughead just wants to eat both pies. Ass.

Ronnie and Betty shake on it. Reggie makes some trash talk. Jughead daydreams of eating the pies.

The next day, at Betty’s house, after some banter, Betty figures Archie is next-to-useless and has him hand her the ingredients while she does the important shit.

At Ronnie’s, Reggie wants to “improve” Ronnie’s pie, but Ronnie tells him to follow her instructions to the fucking letter. Reggie pulls a ton of ideas out of his ass and changes the recipe. Somehow, Ronnie doesn’t notice. While the pie cools, she goes to get cleaned up. Reggie tastes the pie, declares it awful, blames Ronnie, and chucks it in the trash can while climbing out the window to make a “secret trip” to “Riverdale’s best bakery”.

At Betty’s, despite Archie having nearly burned down Betty’s house multiple times (Betty has a fire extinguisher), the pie is a success. Once the pie cools off, they’ll head to the fall festival.

At Ronnie’s, Reggie sneaks back into the kitchen with the replacement pie from “Riverdale’s best bakery” (which is named Riverdale Bakery) just before Ronnie comes back. Reggie has to hide the pie, because it’s still in the box. They head out.

At the fall festival, Reggie taunts the “losers” as they arrive, but Ronnie admonishes him. Reggie claims he’s “only kidding”, but Archie doesn’t buy it.

Ronnie and Reggie win the bake-off contest, and Betty and Archie come in second. Unfortunately, Reggie stupidly blabs his deception, and Jughead, who’s already eating the fucking pie, confirms. Ronnie’s pissed. She and Reggie are disqualified, and Archie and Betty are declared the winners. The latter two are happy. Ronnie throws two pies at Reggie (whose?) and storms off. Jughead laments the “terrible waste of a desert”. Not to mention, y’know, they’re not hers.

This story was okay. Not much else to say.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

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