Writer: Dan Parent*
Pencils: Dan Parent*
Inking: Jon D’Agostino*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 12
Cover Date: May, 1998
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
Yes, that’s the actual title of the story.
At Riverdale High, Cheryl hears music coming from the auditorium and sees a bunch of students walk in. She wonders about it, sees Brigitte (who’s now out in the hallway, even though the sound had been coming from the auditorium), and asks Betty who she is. Betty tells her and fishes for a compliment about Brigitte. Cheryl downplays her amazement.
Cheryl tries to sing “I Will Always Love You“, much to Veronica, Reggie, and Jughead’s horror. Cheryl admits she’s rusty but brags about her ability, so Brigitte invites her to join them in their musical assembly next week. Cheryl is stunned but cheerfully agrees, then wonders how she’ll get out of it. Then she immediately decides, instead of getting out of it, she’ll hire “Hollywood’s top vocal coach”.
However, the dude quits, calling Cheryl tone deaf. Cheryl’s pissed. Jason suggests she “pull a Milli Vanilli“. Since it’s only for this stupid school show, Cheryl decides to do it.
Cheryl gets a singer to record the song, and she makes Jason run the tape player, threatening to tell Betty that he still sleeps with his teddy bear, if he pulls any shit. He agrees.
On the day of the assembly, Brigitte sings “That’s the Way Love Goes” to much acclaim. Then Ms. Grundy introduces “Cheryl Blossom, superstar”. Jason starts the tape. I’m not sure what song that Cheryl’s supposed to be singing. I don’t recognize the lyrics, and Google’s no help. Betty is shocked, but then the tape jams.
Brigitte sees what’s going on and tells Ronnie, who has a good laugh. Betty suggests blowing Cheryl’s cover, but Brigitte suggests rolling with it. Ronnie and Betty shout words of encouragement at Cheryl. Cheryl wonders why Jason hasn’t stopped the tape, but Jason’s already left.
This story was pretty dumb. It was already too late to capitalize on the Milli Vanilli scandal, and Cheryl could have easily gotten out of the assembly by faking a cold or something. Also, the story hasn’t aged well, considering the Riverdale incarnation of Cheryl actually has a lovely singing voice.
After the story are a 1-page Cheryl illustration titled “Cheryl’s ‘Stop the Presses’ Fashion” and a 1-page “Dear Cheryl” letters column by Sara Algase.