Writer: Dan Parent*
Pencils: Dan Parent*
Inking: Jon D’Agostino*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 13
Cover Date: June, 1998
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
At home, Cheryl is watching a knockoff of Today. Without any irony, Cheryl makes fun of the “losers” trying to get on TV. Jason compares them to her. She tells him to shut the fuck up and decides to go show the “pathetic crowd” how it’s done. She wears her new sequined jogging outfit and jogs to the studio to get noticed.
Cheryl jogs near a knockoff of Al Roker and trips and falls live on national television. Most onlookers laugh at her misfortune. Al asks Cheryl if she’s okay.
Cheryl tries to claim she tripped on purpose. On onlooker says it looked real to him. Cheryl tells him to shut the fuck up and leaves in anger.
Either on another day or later the same day (it’s unclear), at Riverdale High, Betty tells Cheryl that everyone’s talking about her appearance on the show, because, if there’s one thing that teens are known for watching, it’s morning news programs. Reggie and Veronica make fun of Cheryl by asking for pointers on falling, so Cheryl walks away.
Later, at home, Cheryl’s going through magazines and newspapers, surprised at the amount of attention that she’s received. She wonders how to take advantage of it.
Reasoning this is free publicity for the show, Cheryl goes to the studio and asks to come back on. An executive agrees. Cheryl asks if she’ll co-host with a knockoff of Katie Couric. He says no but wants her to do the fall again. Angry, Cheryl threatens to sue, if that’s all that they want from her. He tells her to go ahead, since it’s more publicity for them. Cheryl decides to call her lawyer immediately. So…Cheryl is suing the show for…what, exactly? Wanting her to publicly fall on live TV?
Okay, at the lawyer’s office, Cheryl clarifies. She’s suing the show for $30,000,000 due to hurt pride and physical damage that she sustained on their property. He agrees to file the suit. Cheryl says she’ll withdraw it “if they do the right thing”.
Sometime later, Jason informs Cheryl that the lawsuit is the laughing stock of the media. Cheryl says bad press is better than no press. Clifford runs into the room, angry and screaming. Cheryl guesses he owns the parent company that owns the show. He tells her to withdraw the lawsuit immediately. He shows her The Pembrookian newspaper’s headline: “Cheryl Sues Own Father!”
On another day, in an interview for Channel 5 News, Cheryl admits she’s been grounded.
This story was so stupid. How did Cheryl not know her dad owns the parent company. How did her lawyer not know? Why did Cheryl’s father learn about the lawsuit from the local paper instead of from his lawyer?
After the story is a 2-page “Dear Cheryl” letters column by Sara Algase.
A brief correction, due to my reviewing “Spring Blossom!” from online scans: “Cheryl’s Fashion Through the Years!” actually appears between the two parts of that story, not after it.