Writer: Dan Parent*
Pencils: Dan Parent*
Inking: Jon D’Agostino*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 15
Cover Date: September, 1998
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
Cheryl is pissed that all of the guys on the beach are getting boners over Betty and Veronica hula dancing instead of her. Ronnie says they took lessons. Cheryl insults them and decides to find a hula instructor.
Somewhere (at the inn? inside the beach house?), Cheryl can’t find anything in the Yellow Pages. Louella overhears. It turns out that she knows hula, having been stationed in Hawaii for years, and she even taught some classes on it. Cheryl asks Louella to teach her, and Louella makes it sound like she doesn’t have a choice.
On the beach, Louella teaches Cheryl how to hula. Then Jason horns in, because Betty said she finds it attractive when guys do this. Cheryl yells at the “copycat” for going after a townie just because she does. Louella yells at them to take this seriously.
Cheryl and Jason both get better, and they each simultaneously decide to hula on the beach tomorrow.
The next day, Cheryl manages to get Reggie and Archie’s attention, but she’s upset that the girls aren’t paying attention to her (sadly, this isn’t an early occurrence of gay Cheryl; she just wants the girls to be jealous of her skill). Cheryl’s pissed to learn the girls are getting lady-boners over Jason, but a happy Betty tells Cheryl that girls need something to look at, too.
Cheryl initiates a hula battle with Jason, and they cause each other pain. Ronnie guesses they’ve combined hula dancing with wrestling. Betty laughs.
This story was pretty dumb. I can’t imagine anyone would get turned on by hula dancing.