Writer: Dan Parent*
Pencils: Dan Parent*
Inking: Jon D’Agostino*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 16
Cover Date: October, 1998
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
Cheryl is moved to tears while watching The World of Cheryl, her own short film on her own life. She believes it will move all of her fans. Jason makes a joke. Cheryl wants to have some sort of party to celebrate herself.
Cheryl decides to erect a big screen on the beach for the viewing and turn it into an old-fashioned drive-in. She wants to do it in a 1950s style with carhops and refreshments. She calls up the producer of her show to see if the network will spring for all of this. The producer says yes – as long as the ratings stay up. So…wait. Cheryl is getting the network to pay for all of this, and in exchange they get…footage of teens sitting on the beach and watching a short film? How did she ever get them to agree to that?
Anyway, Cheryl checks out the construction on the beach. Pop’s has agreed to set up their refreshment stand.
Jason, however, is planning on sabotaging Cheryl. He bribes the projectionist, Sid, to replace Cheryl’s reel with his reel: a film that he put together of Cheryl’s most embarrassing moments. He wants to turn her into a laughingstock.
On the night of the premiere, Betty is impressed with the set-up. The seats are ’50s car replicas. Cheryl tells Betty and Archie to have a seat and turn up the speakers. Pop’s carhops will take their orders. Um, the carhops are on roller skates, but how well are those gonna function in the sand? Anyway, Cheryl reminds Betty and Archie to smile for the cameras. Cheryl takes the stage in front of the screen and tells the audience that, before her film begins, she has a short film for them to enjoy. Jason believes his film is about to come on, but, to his shock, the short film is Jason Blossom: The Life of a Goober!! Jason goes to Sid and is like “What the fuck?!” Sid explains Cheryl out-bribed him. Cheryl confirms it, having anticipated this move by “predictable” Jason.
She checked with Sid and confirmed it. Jason says he needs new strategies. Cheryl tells him to look on the bright side: she’s made him into a movie star. Jason isn’t exactly appreciative.
This story was okay, but did we really need yet another story about Cheryl making a film? First, there was a three–part miniseries devoted the making and premiere of Cheryl: A Life. Then there was the issue-length “What a Disaster!“, which was devoted to the making and premiere of Cheryl’s disaster movie, The End is Near. Now, this. Keep in mind that all of these stories were written by Dan Parent in the span of about two years.
After the story is a 2-page illustration / call for submissions. The text “Attention all Cheryl fans! We need your fashions!” appears on the first page, and the title “Cheryl’s Cool Swimsuits!” appears on the second page. Various illustrated pictures of Cheryl posing in swimsuits appear, credit given to the designers, and a bunch of honorable mentions are also listed. On the first page, there’s this notice: “Upcoming issues of Cheryl Blossom will feature great fashion ideas sent in by our readers.” To make certain of that, the address to submit the fashions to is printed on both pages.