Writer: Frank Doyle*
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo*
Inks: Jim DeCarlo*
Colors: Barry Grossman*
Letters: Billy Yoshida*
Original Publication: Archie’s Girls Betty and Veronica, No. 321
Cover Date: December, 1982
Length: 5 pages
*The story is uncredited. The credits come from Grand Comics Database and may or may not be accurate. The credits mostly match those of the credited first story in this issue, except George Gladir was the writer, and Dan DeCarlo, Jr., was the artist.
I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition, which came out on July 27, 2022.
Veronica and Betty are walking along a sidewalk. Ronnie, who finds Jason Blossom fascinating, asks Betty what she thinks of him. Betty rants about all of the “sneering”, “superior”, and “snooty” kids at Pembrooke Academy. They look down at the Riverdale High kids and call them “townies”. Ronnie is upset and says Pembrooke is where she should be. Betty’s glad that she’s not, because then Ronnie would be as bad as the others. Ronnie says probably worse and relishes the thought.
Betty says Ronnie’s dad did the right thing in protecting her from those “supersnobs”. Ronnie says she is a snob and adds her dad had no right to send her to a public school. Betty says Ronnie is just a plain snob now, not a supersnob. Ronnie angrily says there’s nothing plain about her.
Betty says those Pembrooke kids come from “all over” to attend that exclusive academy, and they think they’re better than the “townies”. Ronnie says maybe they are. Jason arrives in his sports car, apparently standing while driving. He gets out of the car and calls Ronnie “breath-taking” and “a sight to gladden a man’s heart”. Betty insults him. Jason calls Betty “Miss Bleach Bottle of 1982”, which angers Betty.
Jason convinces Ronnie to come with him to a party right now. Assuming Betty doesn’t mind, Ronnie ditches her. Betty doesn’t protest, realizing it wouldn’t make any difference. As Jason drives Ronnie, he tells her that she’ll be “the hit of the party”.
It seems to be held at the Blossom estate. Cheryl and Bunny are here, and I think that’s Cedric. Jason announces his triumph. Bunny is amazed that “Jason actually did it”. Cheryl says Jason “wins”. Ronnie is confused.
Cheryl says they were having a scavenger hunt and had to find lots of useless shit. The last item on their list was a townie, and only Jason managed to “dredge up” one. Ronnie’s pissed and storms off while they laugh.
She goes and cries to Jughead, Reggie, and Archie. Jughead has a plan and has the guys follow him.
They go to Fire Station 2 (I find it highly improbable that Riverdale has more than one fire station). Jughead is friends with a guy named Charlie, who provides them with an old firehose that they replaced last week.
They go near the Blossom estate. Archie hooks up the hose to a fire hydrant, and the three guys send the Pembrooke kids “down the drain” (into the swimming pool). This is, of course, highly dangerous and illegal, but that’s how the story ends.
This story was pretty dumb and unrealistic. I doubt the Pembrooke kids would sink to searching out useless, common junk just to amuse themselves.
Riverdale Reviewed 