Comics – Wheels of Fortune

Writer: Frank Doyle*
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo*
Inks: Jim DeCarlo*
Colors: Barry Grossman*
Letters: Billy Yoshida*
Original Publication: Archie’s Girls Betty and Veronica, No. 326
Cover Date: October, 1983
Length: 6 pages

*The story is uncredited. The credits come from Grand Comics Database and may or may not be accurate. The credits match those of the credited first story in this issue.

I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition, which came out on August 17, 2022.

Archie is driving Betty around town, and they come across Veronica, who’s on the sidewalk. We join them mid-conversation. Ronnie has a laugh, saying it’s an improvement on his old car. Wait, what? For those of you that don’t know, up until 1983, Archie drove an ancient red Ford Model T (sometimes referred to in stories as a Model A), which he nicknamed “Betsy”. It was destroyed in Life With Archie #238, which has a cover date of September of 1983, so it must have come out the month before this issue. Archie got a new car in that same issue. If this is it, then it really doesn’t look much different than his old car. It’s still a classic car that no adult would give their teen kid as their first car. Eventually, Archie started driving a red mid-1960s Ford Mustang (which is also absurd for a teen these days to be driving), but we’re not there yet. Oh, the reason that Archie’s old car was destroyed? He had Dilton rocket-power it after getting smoked in a drag race by Jason Blossom. That damn Jason.

Anyway, Archie’s proud of his current car, even though it looks totally out of place. Ronnie merely calls it “less awful”. Betty tells her to not be unfair and calls it a “gorgeous” car.

Ronnie points out Jason driving by in a yellow sports car and calls it “gorgeous”. Betty agrees but says “Jason’s daddy has almost as much money as your daddy”. Wait, so the Lodges are richer than the Blossoms at this point? It wasn’t long ago that Cheryl claimed otherwise. Ronnie goes on an absurd rant about money and suggests Archie just buy an expensive car. She points out Cheryl driving by in her purple sports car, and that’s Cheryl’s sole appearance in this story. Ronnie tells Archie that he has “such common tastes”.

Archie says he’s broke, but Ronnie says he’s making excuses. Archie gets pissed and decides to take off. He invites Ronnie to come along, and she agrees. Um, what? If they just had an argument, why is he offering her a ride? And Ronnie just said she has more than one car; presumably, she drove it here; is she just gonna leave it? Anyway, Betty says she thought Ronnie was too good for Archie’s car. Ronnie agrees and has Archie drop her off at the Sesame Game Lounge. Betty asks her if she plays video games. Ronnie says this is where Jason hangs out. She’s going to “transfer to a car befitting [her] station in life”. She goes over to Jason, who’s by his car.

Jason insults Archie’s car and offers Ronnie a ride in the country, ditching video games for other, unspecified “games”. They get in, and Jason tears off. Ronnie should know better. Betty calls one of them “a totally rotten person”, and Archie asks her which one.

Betty suggests they take a ride out into the country, too, guessing a little fresh air might blow his blues away. Archie agrees. They drive underneath an overpass, and there are skyscrapers in the background. Riverdale is not a little town. Betty spouts some proverbs, and then they come across Jason and Ronnie. Jason’s car broke down, and he can’t figure out what’s wrong.

Archie’s all smug, and Ronnie is nervous to see him. Jason asks “townie” to help him fix his car. Archie claims a “bumpkin” like him doesn’t know how to fix a “fine machine” like that, but he does tow the car back into town. Ronnie rides with Jason in his car (with the roof down) and is nervous about being seen as onlookers laugh.

This story was okay. With any luck, Ronnie will stop riding with Jason.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

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