Writer: Frank Doyle*
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo*
Inks: Jimmy DeCarlo*
Colors: Barry Grossman*
Letters: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Archie’s Girls Betty and Veronica, No. 327
Cover Date: December, 1983
Length: 6 pages
I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition, which came out on August 17, 2022.
Cheryl is driving her blue sports car and comes across Betty and Veronica, who are jogging. Cheryl calls them “El Stupido and El Retardo, the townie dum dums”. She makes fun of them for jogging on the hottest day of the year. This issue is cover-dated December, which means it likely came out in October, but it seems to be summer in this story. Anyway, Betty tells “Cheryl, darling” that they do it to keep in shape. She (or maybe Ronnie) also insults Pembrooke girls.
They get into an argument over Cheryl’s figure. It gets so intense that Cheryl actually gets out of her car to show off her “body beautiful”. Cheryl and Betty even get into an argument over the word “sweat”.
As Cheryl puts it: “Townie girls sweat! Pembrooke ladies glow! Which merely lends a delicate sheen to their gorgeous bodies!” She also says they will never see a Pembrooke lady in that “condition”. She gets in her car and drives off, her hair turning brown for one panel. Betty and Ronnie have a good laugh and brush it off. Betty suggests taking the old country road to the quarry and back. Ronnie agrees, because it’s never used anymore, and they’ll have it to themselves. Despite driving off just a short while ago, Cheryl somehow is in just the right spot to see where the girls are jogging.
Cheryl decides to drive past them quickly just to kick up a bunch of dust and cover their sweaty bodies with it. She has a good laugh over it.
Betty and Ronnie are pissed and sprint “home” (to Ronnie’s home, specifically), ignore Mr. Lodge and his flesh-colored mustache, and hit the showers.
Meanwhile, Cheryl’s still on the old country road for some reason. She’s looking forward to telling Jason what she did, but then she runs out of gas, because she forgot to check it this morning. She gets out of her car, looks at Riverdale in the distance (complete with skyscrapers), and estimates she’s a good eight miles out.
Refreshed after their shower, Ronnie and Betty go out for cool treats at a new sidewalk cafe. Ronnie suddenly quotes Little Annie Rooney. An exhausted Cheryl walks by, gasping, puffing, and panting. She’s completely dirty and sweaty. The heel of her right shoe broke, so she’s carrying it, and the heel of her left shoe snaps off. Betty and Ronnie make fun of her. Ronnie makes a reference to “Snob Hill”, so I guess that’s the official nickname of Pembrooke.
This story was pretty funny, but I have to take issue with one thing: Cheryl shouldn’t have been stranded. The previous story established her car (the same car as in this story) has a phone. What happened to it? Then again, they can’t even keep Cheryl’s nose consistent. It was the rare “upside-down U” nose in the previous story; it’s back to the familiar “triangle” nose in this story.