Writer: Dan Parent*
Pencils: Dan Parent*
Inking: Jon D’Agostino*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 20
Cover Date: March, 1999
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
In…some class at Pembrooke Academy, the teacher (who looks kinda like Ms. Hampton but not quite) informs the class that Pembrooke will be on a Wheel of Fortune knockoff. They’ll be competing against other schools for charity. Pembrooke will be up against Riverdale High, Cheryl is excited to learn. Pembrooke will be represented by their top 5 students: Jenna, Bob, Craig, Priscilla, and Humphrey. Wait, Priscilla? They’d been using Bunny as her name for a while. Why the sudden switch back to Priscilla? Parent can’t seem to make up his mind.
Anyway, Cheryl takes issue with her own exclusion and, after class, tries to talk Priscilla into letting her take her place. Priscilla says Cheryl knows her price: a date with Jason. Wait, what? Since when, pray tell, has Priscilla shown even the slightest interest in Jason? Anyway, Cheryl agrees to “work on it” while Priscilla has wet daydreams about Jason.
On the night of the show, we see Riverdale High’s team consists of Betty, Veronica, Dilton, and two nameless nobodies. Confusingly, there’s a guy that looks like Archie on Pembrooke’s team, but it’s not Archie, because he’s in the studio audience. Cheryl is glad to see Betty and Ronnie on Riverdale’s team. She spots Archie in the audience and waves and calls to him. Priscilla has her arms around Jason. The host (a Pat Sajak knockoff) admonishes Cheryl, reminding her that they’re on live TV. That’s usually not how game shows work. An assistant informs him that the Vanna White knockoff is stuck in traffic. Again, not how it works! Everyone has to be at the studio way in advance. There are things like wardrobe and makeup that have to be done.
Anyway, Cheryl volunteers to take her place, giving up her spot on Pembrooke’s team and offering to donate $2,000 to the show. Pat agrees to it.
Cheryl refuses to acknowledge Betty solved a puzzle until Pat yells at her to turn the fucking letters.
Cheryl gets distracted by Archie and has to be reminded of her job by Ronnie. Cheryl’s heels are killing her, so she kicks them off. One heel hits Ronnie in the head, greatly amusing Cheryl.
The Vanna knockoff arrives, but Cheryl refuses to give up the job and insults Vanna’s age. Pat orders a guy to remove Cheryl and put her back with her peers. Cheryl holds onto a square, wrapping her arms around it. That is physically impossible even on the old version of the board (which seems to be what they’re using here, since Cheryl “turns” the letters).
Later Cheryl correctly solves the puzzle: “Center of Attention”. Betty notes the irony.
This story was okay, I guess. Not much to it, though, and the lack of authentic details to how the show actually works is irritating.
After the story is a 2-page “Dear Cheryl” letters column by Sara Algase.