Comics – Creature Feature on Party Beach

Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)
Pencils: Holly G!
Inking: John Lowe
Lettering: Bill Yoshida
Coloring: Barry Grossman
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 25
Cover Date: September, 1999
Length: 11 pages

Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.

Cheryl is having a “Sixties’ Beach Party BBQ” (as Archie calls it). There’s live music and food. Everyone’s having a great time (except Veronica, who chooses to stew in anger). Archie’s dancing with Cheryl (hence Ronnie’s anger), and Betty’s dancing with Jason. I notice Betty usually gets mad about Archie being with Cheryl only when it’s important to the plot (or for a quick visual gag).

Meanwhile, a low-budget film director and his assistant (Sammi) are spying on the kids from behind bushes. I’m pretty sure that the director is supposed to be a knockoff of Roger Corman. You can learn more about him by watching James Rolfe’s video about him:

Anyway, he gets the idea to save money by filming the teens in secret and not paying them, which is hella illegal. Sammi should point this out to him, but all that he can muster is “it doesn’t seem fair”. Anyway, a shipwreck and robotic eel are set up.

Later, Cheryl suggests a game of frisbee. Nancy loves the idea, but Ronnie doesn’t, so Cheryl throws the frisbee and lands it perfectly on Ronnie’s head. After a bit of trash talk, Ronnie throws the frisbee back. It goes over Cheryl’s head and right to the film cheapos.

Ronnie tells Cheryl to go get it. The cheapos hide and roll camera before Cheryl arrives. Cheryl spots the “shipwreck” and yells for everyone to come over.

Ronnie doesn’t wanna go but does so to keep a distance between Cheryl and Archie (which she wasn’t doing during the party, but whatever). Everyone’s amazed. Cheryl guesses it’s a pirate ship.

Archie scares Cheryl by saying the ship’s haunted, and she jumps into his arms – as he intended. Ronnie chastises Cheryl for falling for “that ol’ Archie ploy”. Jason scares Ronnie by saying there’s a jellyfish and gets the same result. Jason thanks Archie. Ronnie’s pissed. Betty says there’s something inside the shipwreck.

Jason drops Ronnie to help Betty. Cheryl charges ahead and pulls “blondie” away, since the ship is her discovery. Cheryl (whose eye color fluctuates between green, aquamarine, and blue in this story) looks inside. They’re excited when they see a treasure chest. Cheryl crawls in, followed by Betty. Cheryl warns everyone that the cabin is “half submerged” (which isn’t even remotely true; the floor’s wet). Cheryl bets there’s gold inside. Archie accuses Ronnie of trying to scare him. Ronnie asks him what the fuck he’s talking about.

He says she’s grabbing his leg. She denies it. It’s the robotic eel, which wraps itself around Archie. Cheryl grabs an oar and tries to whack it off him. Back on the beach, the film cheapos have monitors set up that pick up the various camera feeds. The director tells Sammi to pull back on the robotic eel before Cheryl breaks it. He also tells Sammi to “keep rolling that remote camera” on the ship, despite there being multiple cameras on the ship and multiple monitors in their viewing setup. On the ship, Betty believes Cheryl scared the eel away. Ronnie insults Cheryl’s perfume.

Archie says Cheryl saved him, calls her his hero, and kisses her on the lips. Jason suggests checking out what’s inside the treasure chest. Betty agrees, since “Cheryl’s busy”. They’re shocked to discover there’s nothing in the chest but sandbags marked “Property of Cheapo Films”. Jason laughs. Cheryl is suspicious.

After they leave the ship, Nancy asks them if they found any pirate treasure. They found a hidden camera (just one) and a giant rubber eel. The director runs over to Betty and tells her to be careful with the eel, because it cost a fortune. So…does he use it in a lot of his films to get the most out of his money?

Cheryl somehow recognizes him. He’s flattered. Cheryl and Archie are pissed at him. He outright admits it, calling his movie a “low budget video blockbuster”. Cheryl brings up their lack of pay for acting, the film crew’s lack of a filming permit, and the recording of her party’s band. She brings up her lawyer, and the director is visibly sweating at this point. Interestingly, Cheryl mentions this is her family’s private beach. We know Cheryl’s bedroom overlooks the beach. Is this separate from Pembrooke Beach, which Clifford bought and made public during last summer’s beach house storyline? Is that storyline even still in continuity?

A few weeks later, the gang (or at least Cheryl, Betty, Archie, and Ronnie) are attending a screening of the movie (not sure where). Archie thanks Cheryl for getting them paid for their acting. Notably, the sleeve of Betty’s shirt has a blossom on it. Just saying. Anyway, Ronnie compliments Archie’s “acting” (freaking out while the eel wrapped itself around him), which causes Archie to squirm. Cheryl and Betty laugh.

This story was pretty funny. Not much else to say.


In the middle of the story is a page of Cheryl fan art (with entries from Rachael Nelson of Renton, Washington, and Kayla Luebke of Littleton, Colorado; there are three pieces of fan art, each in a different style, but only two credits).

After the story is a 1-page Cheryl illustration (by Holly G!) titled “Cheryl Blossom Summer Nights Pin-Up”.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

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