Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)*
Pencils: Holly G!*
Inking: John Lowe*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 25
Cover Date: September, 1999
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
In…some jungle-themed room in the mansion, I guess, Cheryl is checking herself out in the mirror while wearing a “jungle” bikini. A bunch of previously-worn swimsuits are lying on the floor. Sugar is looking up at Cheryl. So…Cheryl has been repeatedly stripping naked in front of her dog. I don’t have anything else to say about that; I just thought I’d point that out. Anyway, Cheryl is convinced that she’s going to be a hit in her mom’s “Save the Rain Forest” fashion show. An upset Penelope comes in with horrible news.
Penelope has to cancel the fashion show, because the models missed their plane at “London Airport”. Could you be any more vague? Also, the orchestra’s instruments were lost by the airline. Cheryl (who has blue eyes in this story) cheerfully tells her mom to just make sure that the luncheon is organized and the audience is seated, and her “brilliant daughter” will handle the rest. Penelope is unsure, but an annoyed Cheryl points out that she edits a fashion magazine, which isn’t exactly the same thing as putting together a fashion show. Penelope is upset at Cheryl’s “oversensitive” reaction but agrees to it. Cheryl gets on the phone, and Penelope admits to herself that, when times are tough, Cheryl does what she has to to get it done.
Later that day, Cheryl arrives at someone’s house (probably Archie’s) in her red, blossom-covered limo. The Archies are practicing in the garage. Cheryl thanks them for helping her out on such short notice. Archie is happy to see her. Betty has no reaction. Veronica is pissed at Archie for not telling them that they were rehearsing for Cheryl. Reggie gets a boner. Cheryl’s chili pepper outfit is by Nicole Benz of Simcoe, Ontario, Canada. Anyway, Ronnie doesn’t wanna perform, but she’s won over when Jamie brings by the jungle costumes that Cheryl just picked up. Betty also loves them and calls them “darling”. Cheryl says she’ll have their costumes, “especially” Ronnie’s, waiting for them at the benefit. Archie tells Ronnie that Cheryl’s “not so bad”.
At the benefit, Cheryl peeks behind the curtain and says the band looks great. Cheryl has an…excited grin on her face as she’s looking at Betty and Reggie in skimpy attire…from the back. A pissed Ronnie comes by with a gorilla costume (with a tag with her name on it) and is like “What the fuck is this shit?” Cheryl “felt it was necessary to represent some of the rain forest creatures”. Ronnie’s like “Fuck no, bitch.” Cheryl says there are no other costumes. Ronnie refuses to play. Archie tells Cheryl that the band can’t play without Ronnie. Cheryl says Ronnie’s “only a keyboard player”. Um, playing the keyboard still requires practice and skill, and it’s just as important to the sound of the band as a guitar, bass guitar, and drums. If any band member is disposable, it’s Betty with her stupid tambourine. Anyway, we get some surprising backstory on the band in the form of exposition from Archie: Mr. Lodge bought them their instruments on the condition that Ronnie always play with them. Cheryl is worried, because there really are no other outfits.
Ronnie happily points out that they’re the same size. Cheryl realizes she can’t disappoint her mom and trades costumes with Ronnie.
In the front row, as the audience applauds for the band performing on stage and the models showing off the jungle fashions, Penelope happily tells some women that, if it wasn’t for her daughter, she would have had to cancel the benefit. The woman sitting next to her calls it wonderful. She says the models are “so Amazon”, the band is fabulous, and her daughter is a genius. Ronnie teases Cheryl, who growls (probably not acting). The audience laughs. The woman asks Cheryl where her “beautiful” daughter is. Penelope says she “went ape for the rain forest”.
This story was a mixed bag. On one hand, Cheryl did a really nice thing by saving her mom’s benefit. On the other hand, Cheryl just had to try to stick it to Ronnie. And who are the models that are walking at the benefit? Did Cheryl get them as well? Wouldn’t it make more sense for the Archies to record their music for playback at the benefit and also strut their stuff on the catwalk instead of staying at the back of the stage? And why is rainforest double-spaced?
Riverdale Reviewed 