Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)*
Pencils: Holly G!*
Inking: John Lowe*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 27
Cover Date: November, 1999
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
Cheryl is a contestant on The Dating Game. The host, a knockoff of Daisy Fuentes (who never actually hosted the show in real life), introduces Cheryl (who’s rocking Gwen Stefani space buns). Daisy says three men are “dying” to meet Cheryl. Why’s Cheryl on a dating show? I can’t believe it’s because she’s having trouble finding a boyfriend. She’s probably just doing it for exposure.
Daisy invites the bachelors to introduce themselves and then invites Cheryl (who has aquamarine eyes in this story) to ask her questions. The questions are extremely hypothetical, and most of the responses are nothing special, but bachelor #1 expresses a desire to lick Cheryl’s face, which Cheryl finds “sweet”.
All of the bachelors’ responses make it pretty obvious that bachelor #1 is Archie, bachelor #2 is Reggie, and bachelor #3 is Jughead (though it’s not revealed here). Why are they on a dating show, especially Jughead? Notably, Reggie’s favorite love song is “I’m Too Sexy“.
Daisy asks Cheryl who will be the lucky winner that they will send her on a fantasy date with. Cheryl finds bachelor #1 “so romantic” and bachelor #2 “kinda fun”. She thinks bachelor #3 had “caring answers”. She doesn’t know and points at the
home audience readers, saying she needs their help in deciding which guy that she should choose. A blurb next to Cheryl in the final panel says the bachelor with the most votes takes Cheryl on a fantasy date in issue #29.
This story was okay, I guess, but it made no sense. Cheryl is dating Archie and Dilton. Archie is dating Betty, Veronica, and Cheryl. Reggie dates whoever. Jughead isn’t interested in girls. What the fuck?
After the story is a 1-page Archie story titled “A Concrete Example”.