Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)
Pencils: Holly G!
Inking: John Lowe
Lettering: Bill Yoshida
Coloring: Barry Grossman
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 29
Cover Date: February, 2000
Length: 11 pages
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
Well, it’s a new year, but, contrary to what the residents of Riverdale believe, it’s not a new century.
It is, however, the final year of the Cheryl Blossom title’s existence (although it’s unknown when the creative team became aware of the title’s cancellation), so we’re in the home stretch with just nine issues left to go for our heroine.
I think it’s safe to assume Holly G! has entirely dropped the inn / Club Blossom. It hasn’t been seen since “Deck Those Halls!” in issue #9 (around two years ago at this point), and we haven’t seen the manager, Louella McGruff, since “Hair-Don’t!” in issue #16 (the middle of the beach house storyline, well over a year ago). Dan Parent was still writing and drawing the title back then.
At the Fresh office, Cheryl is having a meeting with four women. I have no idea who these women are. One of them (with short black hair and sunglasses) might be one of the women that recruited her in “Strike a Pose!” or one of the women in “Eat Something!” (who might or might not be the same person), but she actually looks more like Priscilla/Bunny. I wish the Fresh staff members were more clearly defined and consistent, considering this is Cheryl’s job, and she frequently interacts with these people, yet we don’t have a handle on who they are. Anyway, the other women want a “fresh” new idea for the cover, something that would sell more magazines. Their sales are down, which is unfathomable to Cheryl with her photo on the cover.
A blond guy named Walter interrupts the meeting to inform “Miss Blossom” that her “friends” from Riverdale are here. Cheryl remembers she invited Archie to see her “in action” and wonders who else came with him. She has Walter send them in. Veronica walks in, already bored, and drops her coat on the floor. Rude. A smiling Betty follows her. Archie brings up the rear and greets Cheryl. Cheryl isn’t happy to see one or either of the girls (I’d like to think just Ronnie).
Archie thinks it’s “so cool” to get to watch Cheryl work on her fashion magazine (which she’s been working at for well over a year but I guess never thought to invite him over before). Um, she’s a “junior editor”, or at least that’s what she was hired as. Is she now actually in charge of the magazine with no one above her? Anyway, Ronnie doesn’t share Archie’s enthusiasm and insults Cheryl. Archie shushes her, because this is “big business”. Cheryl suddenly has an idea, stands up, and slams her hands on the table, startling her coworkers.
Archie flirts with Cheryl, which earns him a dirty look from a staffer and an elbow from Ronnie for “interrupting business”. Cheryl thinks girls would love to see their heartthrobs on the cover and wonders which teen idol is the hottest. Ronnie suggests a knockoff of Ricky Martin (which, yeah, he was legit fucking huge at the time). The Bunny-like staffer agrees but says, if they have him on the cover, they’ll need to do an interview with him, too. Cheryl volunteers to do the interview. A black staffer named Aura knows “for a fact” that he’s booked solid for a year.
Cheryl (who has blue eyes in this story) knows Ricky “just so happens” to be in town for a concert, and he’s staying at Hotel Royal, which is owned by her family. Well, isn’t that convenient? She calls the hotel, but the desk clerk informs her that there is a block on Ricky’s phone. Cheryl is pissed. She grabs her purse and storms off. Ronnie laughs. Before leaving the office, Cheryl turns to them and vows she always gets her man.
Cheryl goes to the hotel, goes to Ricky’s room, and demands of his very large bodyguard to be let in. He’s like “Fuck you, I have my orders.” Cheryl isn’t intimidated, which is admirable, albeit perhaps suicidal.
Cheryl calls upon her “Blossom brain power” and disguises herself as a hotel staffer. She somehow gets a hold of a food cart and takes a dish of guacamole and chips to Ricky’s room. According to a bio on him (which Cheryl is reading while walking, for some reason), it’s “his most fave snack in the world”. Cheryl claims to the bodyguard that she’s room service.
Ricky allows the bodyguard to send Cheryl into his room. Cheryl has a camera in her uniform hat. When did she set that up? Ricky trips and falls face-first into the dish. The cart bumps into Cheryl and knocks her hat, wig, and glasses off her head. Ricky realizes she’s wearing a disguise.
Cheryl apologizes for sneaking in, introduces herself (she’s the “editor” of Fresh magazine), and helps Ricky to his feet. Ricky explains his manager doesn’t want reporters to see him, because he’s a “total klutz”. He falls on his ass and explains he’s fine if he has a choreographer teaching him some moves.
Cheryl wants to make a deal: she’ll keep his clumsy secret, and he gives her an exclusive interview and photos.
When the issue of Fresh comes out, Ronnie buys a copy in a store, finds Cheryl on the street, and demands to know how in the actual fuck. Standing outside the busy store as it’s running out of copies of Fresh, Cheryl winks and says “A good reporter doesn’t reveal her secrets!”
This story was pretty fun. I’m surprised that it took this long, though, for Cheryl to think of getting a celebrity exclusive for her magazine.
Extras
In the middle of the story is a page of Cheryl fan art (with entries from Cinna Jamal of West Lafayette, Indiana; Felisha Thomas of Carson, Georgia; Karen Reno of Rolla, Missouri; and Veronica Olko of Charlottesville, Virginia).
After the story is a 1-page Cheryl illustration titled “Cinderella Style” with six honorable mentions listed but no indication of who designed the four featured fashions.
Riverdale Reviewed 