Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)*
Pencils: Holly G!*
Inking: John Lowe*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Coloring: Holly G!*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 32
Cover Date: July, 2000**
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
**The indicia for both this issue and #31 say May, but this issue is cover-dated July. Issue #31 came out in February. Issue #32 came out in April.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
At Fresh, Cheryl is working, and a nameless employee comes by with “a new shipment of the latest hair accessories”. Cheryl opens it, curious of what will be the new trend. She freaks out at first but then realizes they’re hair clips that look like real bugs. That trend actually debuted in the 1990s and was nothing new at the time that this story came out. By the way, Cheryl has aquamarine eyes in this story.
Cheryl comes home and announces her arrival. Jason whacks Cheryl in the head with his video game magazine, thinking her bug clip is real. They argue. That was fucking rude, dude.
Jason thinks the trend is “totally gross”. Apparently, a single hair clip costs “a good chunk of change”, and Cheryl got multiple. It’s unclear if she paid for them herself. Anyway, she goes to her bedroom and looks in the mirror. She declares her new bug clips are going to be “the rage of Pembrooke High” tomorrow. I guess that’s the official name of her school now.
The next day, at school, Heather and another girl mistake Cheryl’s hair clip for a real bug. She corrects them. They argue.
In science lab, Ms. Hampton makes the same mistake (speaking of mistakes, I guess that was her in “Crimson & Clover“), and Cheryl tiredly corrects her. The class laughs.
After school, Cheryl angrily corrects Jamie before she can finish her sentence.
On the ride home, Jamie (who has blue eyes) apologizes. Cheryl apologizes to Jamie for snapping and explains what happened at school. Cheryl has Jamie take her to Riverdale Park for an afternoon picnic with Archie. Isn’t the park usually called Pickens Park?
When Cheryl arrives at the park, she compliments Archie on the “lovely” picnic. She sits down and angrily corrects him, screaming, before he can finish his sentence about the “bug” in her hair. He nervously offers her a peanut butter sandwich.
Jughead arrives and starts to warn Cheryl about the bug in her hair. Archie tries to warn him about warning Cheryl. Cheryl angrily tries to show Jughead her hair clip, but she picks a real bug off her hair (which first shows up in that very panel). She freaks out and runs away. The confused bug sits on Jughead’s shoulder as the glutton helps himself to a sandwich.
This story was pretty stupid. It was already years behind the times, but it also relied on literally everyone mistaking plastic hair clips for real bugs.
Riverdale Reviewed 