Comics – The Reel World

Cheryl-Blossom-33
Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)*
Pencils: Holly G!*
Inking: Jim Amash*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Coloring: Stephanie Vozzo*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 33
Cover Date: August, 2000
Length: 5 pages

*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.

Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.

At the headquarters of a knockoff of MTV, two producers or whoever are looking through stacks of photos of girls and decide Cheryl is the girl that they want. The guy says she’s rich and beautiful, and he heard she “once” was one of the Sugar Girls. The woman asks if she’ll fit in with “the rest of the other girls” (odd wording) that they picked for the summer episodes of a knockoff of The Real World. I never watched The Real World (though I was aware of it). Cheryl has aquamarine eyes in this story.

Before we move on, I have to talk about a major reveal. According to the slip of paper that’s attached to Cheryl’s photo, she’s 16 years old. That was her age all of the way back in “Hollywood or Bust“. There’s no way that less than a year passed between then and now. Also, assuming Cheryl is just on the cusp of turning 17, that means the earliest story that came out while “current Cheryl” was already of driving age was “He-Mail” from issue #24. But “Sugarworld” from issue #21 is referenced. That issue came out when Cheryl was, at most, 15 years and 8 months old, which makes her lie that she was 20 in that story all the more ludicrous. Come to think of it, when’s the last time that we saw Cheryl drive anywhere? As far as I can tell, not counting in her “Cinderblossom” dream, that was in “Radio Daze” in issue #4, which came out three years earlier. There’s been no sign of her blue sports car since, and Jamie’s been driving her everywhere since “Sugarworld”.

Anyway, the producers or whoever argue about Cheryl (the “rich, spoiled brat”) living with “totally different” Sandy, Monica, and Lesley. They will be living together in the beach house for a whole month while on camera. I think this is official confirmation that the whole beach house storyline that Dan Parent wrote has been wiped from continuity, since this is the same network, but the producers only know about Cheryl having been in the Sugar Girls; there’s no mention of her previously having a nationwide hit series on their network. Anyway, the TV ratings will be fantastic, so it’s a go. Well, y’know, they’ll have to actually call Cheryl and ask (and get her parents’ permission), but the story skips over all of that.

Anyway, Cheryl arrives at the beach house, and the guy introduces her to the other girls. Sandy is a cheerful girl with a puppy, Monica plays the guitar left-handed, and Lesley is a bookworm that mumbles.

Cheryl also meets Candy, their camerawoman and adult supervisor. Cheryl shoves Sandy aside and mugs for the camera. The guy announces the beginning of the “summer episode”. Just one episode?

On Day #1 (which I guess is the next day), Cheryl comes downstairs, wearing a party dress. Sandy is making breakfast. Monica asks about the dress.

Cheryl says “Every minute of Cheryl Blossom’s life is a party!” Monica says it’s too early for this. Cheryl tells Sandy that she’ll have her eggs sunnyside up. Sandy is surprised but agrees to it. Lesley is shocked by the messy bathroom and asks who used it last. Which floor is the bathroom on? Anyway, Cheryl says she did and says Lesley “can straighten up now”. Monica is angry.

Sandy and Cheryl sit down to eat breakfast. Cheryl loves it and tells Monica that she’s “quite the little cook”. Cheryl wipes her mouth, tosses her napkin on the floor, and is going to hop into her bikini and hit the beach.

In the next panel, after Cheryl has already changed into her bikini, only then does Sandy ask Cheryl about her dirty dishes. This is a common problem in Archie Comics. I’ve talked about it before. Due to the desire to keep the flow of the story moving, characters have a very short conversation over a long period of time. Anyway, Cheryl says Sandy can do her dishes for her and leaves.

Five days later, the producers are viewing the footage and are excited for an upcoming fight, since Monica said last night that she’s sick of Cheryl’s shit and is gonna confront Cheryl.

The girls confront Cheryl on Day #6. Cheryl has an idea on how they can work something out.

On Day #7, the producers wail about their ruin, because Cheryl is paying Sandy, Monica, and Lesley a lot of money to be her servants, which pleases them. Lesley is even wearing a blossom shirt.

This story was okay, but I feel it could have been longer and gone more in depth with the concept.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

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