Writer: Holly G! (Holly Golightly)*
Pencils: Holly G!*
Inking: Jim Amash*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Coloring: Stephanie Vozzo*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 35
Cover Date: October, 2000
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition. This is the final issue that’s available in digital format as of this writing.
Betty, Jason, and Archie are at Pop’s. Betty gets mad at Jason for pulling a prank involving binoculars on Archie that leaves black circles around his eyes. She offers Archie a tissue. Really, Archie’s just a dumbass for falling for it, and Betty can’t take a fucking joke.
Betty tells Jason to grow up and leaves their date to go on an interview for a summer job. The way that she’s yelling at Jason makes it seem like she’s punishing him for his “mean” and “immature” prank, but isn’t this also just a scheduling conflict on Betty’s part? Why would she have a date with Jason just as she’s about to go on a job interview?
Later that day, at the Blossom mansion, Jason is hanging out poolside. Cheryl (wearing an outfit by Bernadette Green of Quincy, Florida) and Sugar come by. Cheryl asks what’s wrong. Jason tells her. By the way, Jason has blue eyes in this story.
Cheryl can’t argue with Betty but then apologizes to him when he makes his hurt feelings known. She offers to help and suggests he be more mature, like their dad. Cheryl has green eyes in this story.
Cheryl tells Jason to do “the ‘Daddy’ thing”. Luckily, she clarifies by telling Jason to grow a goatee. Yeah, that’s the solution.
A few weeks later, Jason still has no growth, so Cheryl brings the “cowboy” a fake goatee. He puts it on and loves it. Cheryl tells “Mr. Man” to go get Betty. Jason thanks Cheryl and gets in his red sports car to go surprise Betty at her new job at the petting zoo.
At the petting zoo, Jason loves when the ticket girl calls him “sir”. Jason goes to the goats (who Betty is feeding) and announces his presence, but the goats fall in love with him, tackle him to the ground, and seemingly eat his goatee. An angry Betty calls Jason “so immature”.
This story was cute, but Cheryl should have given Jason some tough love and told him to grow the fuck up. Seriously, he’s playing elementary school pranks in high school.
Riverdale Reviewed 