Writer: George Gladir
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo
Inks: Mike Esposito
Colors: Barry Grossman*
Letters: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Betty and Veronica, No. 96
Cover Date: February, 1996
Length: 6 pages
I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition, which came out on September 27, 2023.
*These aren’t credited in the story. I assume the same people colored and lettered the entire issue.
Before the story is a “Cheryl Blossom Special Offer” order form (for her Specials and miniseries) that declares “Cheryl’s everywhere!”
Archie, Betty, and Veronica are in a lodge. Archie is sitting by the fire. He and Betty have hot beverages. They think of this ski resort as like paradise. Ronnie looks out the window and is worried when Cheryl (who has blue eyes in this story), “the queen of man stealers”, arrives. Ronnie says there’s only one thing for them to do. Betty eagerly asks what.
Ronnie says she and Betty have to take turns keeping Archie away from Cheryl day and night. She urgently makes Betty take Archie out the back way “right now”. Betty puts on her jacket and hat and literally drags Archie out to the slopes, which confuses him, because they just got here.
On the ski lift, Archie asks Betty why she keeps looking over her shoulder. Betty bullshits about it being a “special ski exercise” that “helps keep the neck limber”.
Archie is satisfied to start on the beginner’s slope, but Betty spots Cheryl (we don’t see her) and literally drags Archie to the advanced slope.
They wipe out.
Hours later, they return to the lodge. Every bone in Archie’s body is aching. Ronnie meets them outside and whispers to Betty that Cheryl is inside. Archie wants to “sack out right now”, but Ronnie drags him off to go dancing, citing the “experts” that say “dancing helps work out all the stiffness”.
She takes him to a place called Paradise Valley Disco, where Archie continues to be in pain. She spots Cheryl (we don’t see her) and has Archie put on sunglasses, which are “great for preventing snow blindness”. She puts on a pair as well. Once Cheryl leaves (we don’t see her), Ronnie says Archie can take the glasses off.
Over the next several days, Betty wakes Archie up at 6:00 AM to go skiing and even takes him skiing in the rain, and Ronnie takes him snowmobiling at night.
Betty eventually points out that Cheryl is checking out. Ronnie is happy and says they can relax and enjoy themselves. Cheryl waves and calls to them. Betty is shocked that she spotted them, despite the fact that they’re standing on the other side of the open doorway to the desk. Cheryl comes over and passes along her apologies to Archie. She couldn’t spend any time with him, because she had a big fashion photo gig here. Wow, and this is long before she gets hired at Fresh. I guess she already has a bit of a fashion career at this point. Ronnie and Betty are stunned. They go to Archie’s room (#311), where a sick, sleeping Archie is shivering in a blanket and has his feet in a bowl of hot water, and Ronnie wonders what they do with Archie now that they have him all to themselves.
This story was pretty dumb. I don’t know why Archie puts up with Betty and Ronnie’s bullshit. But it is nice that Cheryl was able to fuck them over by doing absolutely nothing.
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