Writer: Mike Pellowski
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo
Inks: Mike Esposito
Colors: Barry Grossman*
Letters: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Betty and Veronica, No. 114
Cover Date: August, 1997
Length: 6 pages
I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition, which came out on November 29, 2023.
*These aren’t credited in the story. I assume the same people colored and lettered the entire issue.
Veronica and Betty leave the movies one night. They love the movie that they’ve just seen (and other, similar ones), which is about childhood friends that all grow up to become famous. Betty suggests they talk more about it over a pizza. Ronnie agrees.
Later, at Pop’s, the girls are nearly done with their pizza (they’ve got two slices left each). Ronnie brings up the idea of if their friends turned out to be celebrities. Betty suggests Reggie might become a famous stand-up comic. There’s an odd bit in the daydream, er, nightdream where Reggie points out his “new pals, Karmer and Georgio” in the audience. What the hell’s that about? It doesn’t go anywhere.
Ronnie says Moose might end up as an all-pro football star. Betty says he’d endorse products on TV. Of course, in the dream, Moose is such a dumbass that he’s looking away from the camera, and the director (a Steven Spielberg knockoff) has to correct him.
Betty says Dilton might become a “prize-winning” scientist. In the dream, Dilton is upset that he won the Nobel Prize for research on small, flying insects, because he has to give a speech. That seems out of character.
Pop brings the girls chocolate milkshakes. Ronnie asks Betty about Archie. Betty says Archie might become an actor and “end up on a sitcom about friends”. In the dream, the friends are Archie, Cheryl, Chuck, Ethel, and Midge. They might lose the apartment due to being unable to pay rent (which was never a problem on the actual Friends).
Ronnie brings up Jughead. The girls clink their glasses (which are now much smaller and look like they contain chocolate milk or soda instead of milkshakes) together and say food is Jughead’s path to fame. In the dream, he hosts a show called The Gourmet Glutton and makes “weiners” (and bad puns).
Betty asks Ronnie about herself. Ronnie says Betty would star on a TV show about a “hard-boiled sports recorter”. In the dream, Betty turns down lunch with a coworker named Miles, because she’s busy doing a story (and making bad puns).
Betty says Ronnie would become famous as the owner and host of her own shopping network. Ronnie loves that idea.
Reggie, Archie, and Jughead walk into Pop’s. Reggie asks what they’re daydreaming about.
Ronnie and Betty explain. Reggie laughs it off, dismissing the idea that “millions of people” would be interested in the explots of Archie, Jughead, Betty, and Veronica. He adds “Not a chance! Not even in comic books!” They’re all pissed at him.
This story was okay. But the ending joke was a few decades too late. According to the Statement of Ownership in Betty and Veronica #110 (just a few months earlier), the 12-month average total paid circulation was 47,010 copies. They had to wait until Riverdale to (briefly) get an average viewership of 1,000,000 – 2,000,000 – before plummeting in the ratings. Hell, even Riverdale at its lowest got 160,000 viewers. Who the fuck even knows how the comics were doing by that point?
Riverdale Reviewed 