Writer: Dan Parent
Pencils: Dan Parent
Inks: Bob Smith
Colors: Glenn Whitmore
Letters: Jack Morelli
Original Publication: World of Betty and Veronica Jumbo Comics Digest, No. 33
On-Sale Date: June 5, 2024
Length: 5 pages
So this is a Young Dr. Masters story that just happens to have Betty and Veronica in it. Who the fuck is Young Dr. Masters? Why, another obscure Archie Comics character, of course! They’ve used him in a few recent stories, but this is the first one that I’m reviewing. Adventures of Young Dr. Masters ran for a whopping two (TWO!) issues in 1964. As a pure guess, I’d say he was kind of a parody of the long-running, old-time soap opera, Young Doctor Malone.
According to the blurb at the beginning of this story: “The charming and handsome David Masters is anything but an ordinary doctor! He is constantly putting himself in danger to help others, braving the most alarming situations to ensure that injured people make it to the hospital in time!”
Archie and Jughead are at the beach. Archie notices a crowd and asks what everybody’s gathered for. Jughead says he sees television cameras, pointing out the fucking obvious. They somehow get through the crowd, and Archie sees Young Dr. Masters being interviewed. Veronica says he’s “filming” his medical show on the beach all week.
Masters apparently abruptly ends his interview and stands up to tell Betty and Ronnie that he’ll be here at Riverdale Beach all week. Betty says she’ll be “ready to learn”. Two others girls echo Betty. Archie, upset, asks Jughead if he’s ever seen anything like them. Archie then gets a boner and runs after a random girl.
Soon, Archie is confused by Betty, Ronnie, Midge, and Cheryl’s behavior, and Jughead explains the girls are faking leg cramps, because Masters wants to demonstrate, on the air, what to do if you get a leg cramp while swimming. Archie calls the girls pathetic. Even more girls (including Ethel and two black girls, one of which might be Nancy) fake needing help. Betty claims to have sun stroke, and one of the girls says she was eaten by a shark.
Masters dismisses the girls as “too funny”. His assistant asks him which one that they should use to assist him on his show. This seems like news to Ronnie (despite the fact that Jughead just said that was their reason for faking injuries), and she eagerly volunteers. So does Betty. The assistant tells the girls that anybody interested can just stop by for an interview after the show. So the volunteer position is for a different episode? So why were the girls faking injuries now?
There’s a huge line. Midge says everybody wants to be in the limelight. Brigitte contradicts that, saying they want to be next to Dr. Masters.
The next day, the assistant announces Dr. Masters’ choice: Dilton Doiley. The girls are shocked and upset (one random girl melodramatically falls to her knees and sobs). Ronnie says they never even thought of Dilton. Dilton says that was part of his plan; instead of fawning over Masters, he was serious. Ronnie considers using substance over style “playing dirty”. Dilton has “a lot of serious things” to discuss with Masters. The assistant calls Dilton to the “set” (just another area on the beach). Dilton talks Masters’ ears off regarding neurological science, and Masters is clearly uninterested. Ronnie and Betty watch the “riveting television” from afar.
This story was pretty dumb and demeaning. Girls make fools of themselves to impress a hot guy. I can’t imagine any young readers have any interest in this.
Report Card
On April 10, Betty and Veronica Jumbo Comics Digest #323 became the final digest to include two new stories. From here on out, it’s one new story only.
On April 24, Chilling Adventures Presents: The Cult of That Wilkin Boy: Initiation was released. It’s a sequel to a horror comic that was released on April 19, 2023. Nothing like striking while the iron is hot.
On May 1, World of Betty and Veronica Jumbo Comics Digest returned with issue #32 after nearly five months since the last issue. Your guess is as good as mine as to what went on there.
On May 22, Archie Comics: Judgment Day #1 was released. This is an “Archie Premium Event” horror miniseries aimed squarely at physical comic collectors. It’s priced at $4.99, and there’s a choice of four covers. It’s not exclusive to the direct market (you can order it from Archie Comics’ online store), but there is no digital edition. I have no idea how well that this thing will sell.
Let’s do some math. I’m going to compare the number of pages of new content and the amount charged for it at this point last year to what has been released up to this point this year:
2023:
Pages: 325 / Price: $229.71
2024:
Pages: 210 / Price: $176.77
Difference:
Pages: -115 / Price: -$52.94
Riverdale Reviewed 
Has Archie Comics stopped creating new comic stories in 2020?
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No, there are new classic-style stories in the digests and in those sporadic floppy comics (one per issue), and there are horror-themed one-shots. But their output of new content is at its lowest level ever.
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