Writer: Dan Parent
Pencils: Jeff Shultz
Inking: Bob Smith
Colors: Glenn Whitmore
Letters: Jack Morelli
Original Publication: Betty and Veronica, No. 269
Cover Date: February, 2014
On-Sale Date: January 15, 2014
Length: 20 pages
This is kind of an important issue, not so much for any specific part of the story contained herein but for the fact that it’s the first in-continuity issue in over a year. See, for the past five issues (all of 2013), Betty and Veronica had been taken up by parodies of fairy tales, leaving the “real” girls to be seen in only Archie and perhaps new stories in some of the digests. This issue was our first chance to see them in their own adventures on a regular basis again, so we got an issue-length story featuring a day in their lives.
Betty, Veronica, and Archie are all asleep in bed at around 1:30 AM. The girls are dreaming of him, and he’s dreaming both of them are giving him some loving.
As the night wears on, though, the girls interrupt each other’s dreams, giving them a restless night’s sleep. Meanwhile, they’re still giving Archie that sweet, sweet loving in his own dream. It’s now 3:20 AM.
At 7:00 AM, the girls are woken up (Betty by her alarm clock and Veronica by Smithers). Meanwhile, Archie peacefully sleeps through his alarm, still dreaming of getting loving from the girls.
Betty has to rush out the door. Her parents have already left for work, so she decides to grab a quick bite but then realizes she has to feed the cat (whose name is Caramel, although it isn’t mentioned here). She also realizes her blue shirt is still in the dryer. Um, a few questions. Who did the laundry and when? Who forgot to take Betty’s shirt out of the dryer? And why is Betty concerned about this right now, considering she’s already put on a pink shirt?
Meanwhile, Veronica asks her servant, Fifi (who had also brought her her designer pumps in bed), to remove some excess marmalade from her toast. Fifi’s thoughts are censored.
Meanwhile, Archie’s still having his wet dream at 7:10 AM.
Betty runs after the school bus, realizing her watch has stopped (apparently, she doesn’t rely on any clock in the house). She has a peace sign on her bookbag.
Meanwhile, Veronica trying to decide which color car to drive to school today.
Meanwhile, Mary wakes Archie up, because he’s late again.
On the bus ride to school, Betty had helped Ethel with her geometry homework and let Dilton borrow her earbuds. They thank her.
Veronica takes up two parking spaces in the student parking lot (which, oddly, is right next to some residential housing) and gets yelled at for it. She doesn’t give a shit.
Archie’s just now making his way out the door and spills everything out of his bookbag. Why doesn’t his mom give him a ride?
Betty sees a poster for the Riverdale High Winter Blitz dance (which is tonight) and decides to text Archie before Veronica gets to him.
Meanwhile, Reggie asks Veronica to the dance. She’s texting Archie and tells Reggie that she’ll put him on “stand by” only if Archie can’t take her, which means Reggie isn’t even her second choice (or maybe, y’know, the line was poorly worded).
Running to school, Archie realizes he’s been texted.
The girls are pissed off, each worrying the other got to Archie first. Archie got both texts and, smug asshole that he is, tells Jughead that he’ll let them fight it out.
Question: How did these girls not know about this imminent dance until today?
Betty sees Veronica in the hallway and decides to play it cool, but Veronica sees right through it. Meanwhile, Archie’s calmly walking to class, unaware of the girls’ anxiety. The bell rings, so enough of this shit.
In Professor Flutesnoot’s class, he praises Betty for getting an A+ on an assignment or test, but she’s preoccupied over whether Archie got her text or not.
In Ms. Grundy’s class, Veronica hasn’t gotten a text back from Archie. Ms. Grundy is pissed and confiscates her cell phone.
In a history class, an unnamed female teacher criticizes Archie for having the wrong book and wrong homework and also for wearing his shirt backwards. She asks him where his head is. Archie’s winking at a cute girl and doesn’t pay any attention to the teacher.
At lunch time, Betty decides to meet the gang and orders a “regular lunch” from Ms. Beazley. Jughead tries to mooch food off Betty.
Meanwhile, Veronica doesn’t eat “this school slop” and has her lunch delivered from home. Smithers presents her with smoked salmon.
Meanwhile, Archie laments his sandwich getting “all squished” by his books, but it still tastes good, so he doesn’t mind much.
We get a landscape (“widescreen”) shot of the gang at the table. There’s a lot of arguing. In short, the girls are going to the dance by themselves, Reggie reminds Veronica of him, Jughead asks Kevin if he’s gonna eat his burger, and Kevin’s glad that he doesn’t have to deal with this shit (except for, y’know, sitting at the same table as these assholes).
After school, Betty’s waitressing at some random restaurant and complaining about Veronica, confusing her customer and coworkers.
Meanwhile, Veronica is complaining about how nobody appreciates her while Fifi gives her a massage, and Veronica accuses “Fi-Fi” of trying to kill her.
Meanwhile, at home, Archie’s laughing his ass off while watching a parody of Tosh.0.
That night, Betty puts on a homemade dress that she’s already worn – along with a new shawl.
At Veronica’s, Vera Wang has personally dropped Veronica’s dress off. Veronica compliments it and says the check is in the mail. Um, why not just hand it to her? Ms. Wang is eager to buy a summer beach house. Okay, technically, her first name isn’t mentioned, but it’s obviously meant to be her.
At Archie’s, Mary and Fred criticize a stain (which he’ll cover with a flower) on his suit and his mismatching socks, respectively.
As Betty rides her bike to the dance, she starts questioning everything about it (including going at all).
During the limo ride to the dance, Reggie fishes for a compliment on his appearance, but Veronica’s pissed at him for not complimenting her appearance and not bringing her flowers.
At the dance, Archie arrives, disheveled, and explains to Midge, Ginger, and two random girls that he had a flat tire.
Dilton asks Betty to dance, and she’s torn between that and talking to Archie.
Veronica ignores Reggie in favor of Archie and notices Betty “honing in”.
Cheryl asks Archie to dance. Why’s Cheryl at a Riverdale High dance, you ask? Well, around this time, they seemed to quietly do away with Pembrooke Academy, and Cheryl was attending Riverdale High with seemingly no explanation. (Who the hell knows where Jason was during this time?) This lasted up through the final Classic Archieverse floppy issue, just after New Riverdale launched.
Betty tries to talk to Archie, but Cheryl barges in. Betty falls, and Cheryl is surprised and seemingly takes the blame for it. However, when Veronica helps Betty up and accuses Cheryl of pushing her, Betty admits she just tripped over herself (I think we’re meant to believe she tripped over her shawl, which she ends up leaving on the floor).
Veronica makes up with Betty, affirming they’re best friends. Archie wants to dance, and Veronica lets him dance with Betty first. Cheryl asks about herself, but Archie cuts her out for the night, and he seems oddly happy to do it, despite the fact that she really didn’t do anything. As she watches them dance (simultaneously, despite the fact that Betty and Veronica were supposed to take turns with Archie), Cheryl asks what Betty and Veronica have that she doesn’t. Kevin again states he’s glad to not be a part of this shit.
The last two pages are taken up with Betty’s diary entry. She writes about friendship while dressed in her sleep attire (shorts and a T-shirt). We see Veronica looking at a selfie that she (I guess) took of them. Archie comes home, completely wiped and in a happy daze (draw your own conclusions) while his happy parents look on.
The story ends where it began. It’s 12:10 AM, and everyone’s fast asleep. The girls dream of Archie, and Archie dreams of getting some hot loving from the girls.
This story’s pretty nice. Not a whole lot to say about it. It’s nice to see a typical day in the lives of Betty, Veronica, and Archie. Archie is, of course, a complete ass, so I’m upset that the girls flocked back to him and that he got to reject Cheryl.
Tune in tomorrow for a review to make up for the lack of one three weeks ago!