Comics – Telethon Trouble

BV-Friends-Digest-280Writer: Bill Golliher
Pencils: Dan Parent
Inks: Jim Amash
Colors: Glenn Whitmore
Letters: Jack Morelli
Original Publication: B&V Friends Jumbo Comics Digest, No. 280
On-Sale Date: April 22, 2020
Length: 5

Mr. Lodge comes across Veronica sitting (presumably) in his chair at his desk and taking a call. Betty praises Ronnie. Mr. Lodge asks about it. Ronnie explains they volunteered to help with a TV telethon tonight and are practicing. Mr. Lodge is pleased and asks about the charity. Betty has to pick of a sheet of paper to get the name of the charity, which is a Habitat for Humanity knockoff. Mr. Lodge praises the charity and explains what they do.

Mr. Lodge asks if they volunteered, because it’s a good cause. Betty and Veronica are unconvincing in their replies. Mr. Lodge heard a boy band was going to be performing live, which causes the girls to hug each other and “Scree!” Oh, the boy band is named J-Popp. Seriously? You just added an extra letter to the end of a genre? Mr. Lodge is probably giving the girls a bit too much credit by assuming they also volunteered to do good (they didn’t even know the name of the charity!) in addition to wanting to see the boy band, but Betty totally goes along with it. The girls leave for the studio.

Soon, at the studio, the stage manager (or whoever) has gone through everything with the phone operators. Betty says they’re all set. He says they’re going on the air.

It gets really busy. The manager explains everyone’s watching for J-Popp.

Later, Ronnie’s concerned, because the band should have been here by now. Betty is all smiles as she wonders what’s going on. The telethon’s host explains to the audience that J-Popp can’t make it, due to bus trouble. Ronnie and Betty are disappointed. Betty says the donation calls have practically dried up, because everyone was waiting for J-Popp. The manager says they’re desperate for an entertainment act to get people watching again and asks for ideas.

Betty reminds Ronnie of the comedy routine that they did for the middle school talent show. The manager agrees to it. Ronnie and Betty slap each other five. Y’know, it occurs to me that no one’s practicing good social distancing in this story, but let’s press on.

So the girls get dressed in vaudeville outfits, which I guess they found at the station. Vaudeville? That’s what they did in middle school? Going by my timeline, the current iterations of Betty and Veronica should have attended middle school in 2013-2016. Sure you don’t wanna play some Halestorm or Haim or whatever? No? Vaudeville? Okay.

Anyway, the host introduces them as “Betty and Veronica with Middle School Follies”. Ronnie has him correct it to “High School Follies”. Ronnie and Betty’s entire show consists of them dancing while telling very lame jokes, some based on awful puns. How did Betty think this was a good idea?

The manager has the girls wrap it up. Of course, they have to get one more groaner in. The manager is happy, because the phone calls are pouring in. Betty asks him if he wants them to perform again. He says no; they’re donating to keep the girls off the stage for the rest of the telethon.

This story was pretty funny. I just wish we got to see Betty and Veronica’s reactions upon the realization that they suck ass.

Author: markmooreauthor

I love watching anime and superhero movies, and I love playing video games. I also write fan fiction and original fiction.

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