Writer: Dan Parent*
Pencils: Dan Parent*
Inking: Jon D’Agostino*
Coloring: Barry Grossman*
Lettering: Bill Yoshida*
Original Publication: Cheryl Blossom, No. 17
Cover Date: November, 1998
Length: 5 pages
*Only the lead story in the issue is credited. I assume the credits apply to all of the stories.
Although I have the original issue, I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition.
At home, Cheryl says it’s time to catch up on her soaps, which immediately dates the story. What teen these days watches soap operas? Anyway, Penelope introduces Cheryl to a Martha Stewart knockoff. Cheryl recognizes her but seems to lie about never missing her show. Penelope reveals she’s hired Martha.
She wants to give their house a more “homey” look, saying it tends to look a bit “stark”. Martha decorates the mansion with stuff like seashells and driftwood, which Cheryl doesn’t like.
A couple days later, Cheryl is upset that the house is looking like a “country inn”, but Penelope thinks it looks lovely. Martha is stenciling on their doorways.
Cheryl thinks Martha is nuts. Sure enough, looking nuts, Martha decides to “stencil the whole upstairs”. When she goes upstairs, Cheryl yells after her to stay out of her room. Too late, as Martha has already extensively stenciled Cheryl’s floor. Yeah, no, bullshit. Bull. Fucking. Shit. There’s no way that she could have done that in a few seconds. Cheryl screams for her mom, and Penelope guesses Cheryl has seen her room. What? This story is so confusing. In tears, Cheryl tells her mom that Martha has stenciled her phone. Penelope is able to bring herself to admit only that Martha “maybe…has overdone it a bit”.
Penelope suggests Cheryl could learn something from Martha. This gives Cheryl an idea.
Cheryl adds “Blossom-esque” touches to Martha’s work, overwhelming her with flowers. Martha decides to leave and sees Cheryl has had her car stuffed with flower centerpieces. She’s also added flowers to Martha’s front yard and house and paid for a “house makeover”.
Martha is somehow unable to stop this. Cheryl is over at her house and explains it as returning the favors that Martha did for them. She gives Martha a jacket decorated with blossoms.
Soon, Cheryl’s back at home and asks her mom where Martha is. Penelope says she went on an extended vacation and has the idea to send her some flowers. Cheryl says it’s a good idea.
This story was pretty dumb and way over the top.