Writer: George Gladir
Pencils: Dan DeCarlo
Inks: Alison Flood
Colors: Barry Grossman
Letters: Bill Yoshida
Original Publication: Betty and Veronica, No. 103
Cover Date: September, 1996
Length: 6 pages
I’m reviewing this story from the digital edition, which came out on October 25, 2023.
Betty, Veronica, and Nancy are at the beach. Nancy angrily tells Betty and Ronnie to “show more intensity” if they expect to win today. See, there’s a two-girl volleyball tournament being held at the beach. So…why the fuck does Nancy care if Betty and Ronnie win or not? She’s not on their team. Betty says she appreciates the tips. Nancy says she can’t play herself because of a sprained ankle (which she’s currently standing on, seemingly with no problem whatsoever). Cheryl and Archie run by, holding hands. Cheryl smiles, waves, and greets Betty and Ronnie, who are angry.
Betty complains about Cheryl’s “nerve” of “flaunting” “[their] Archie”. Ronnie complains about Cheryl’s perfume (though it’s unclear what bothers her about it). Betty wants to continue their game. They do well, Nancy cheering them on. Nancy has never seen them play with such energy and asks what happened. Betty says Cheryl made them “see red”. Nancy encourages them to play that way in today’s tournament.
The tournament starts. As a “special treat”, TV star Rex Dexter will present the trophy. I don’t know if this is supposed to be a parody of someone. I also don’t see the point of getting a TV actor to come to Riverdale to present a trophy in a local beach volleyball tournament. I’m guessing this “TV star” is just a washed-up has-been that happens to live nearby. Regardless, Betty excitedly takes this as an “extra incentive” for them to win.
They win their first two games. Nancy congratulates them but says, in the finals, they’ll be up against the favorites, the Twin Towers (tall girls with long brown hair).
Betty and Ronnie are too exhausted and doubt their chances. Nancy goes and requests Cheryl put a drop of her perfume on the volleyball. Cheryl, who “always brings some along”, agrees. Nancy thanks her. Cheryl finds the request strange.
Nancy has the “exhausted creatures” take a whiff of the ball before they start playing. They smell the scent of the “vicious man-eater” on the ball and get angry. Ronnie literally growls. Does anyone actually do that in real life? And I find it hard to believe they could immediately connect the scent from a single drop of perfume to Cheryl. Regardless, the girls do well in the finals, Moose cheering them on. Cheryl has just heard Rex Dexter is at the tournament and rushes to see him (she knows him), dragging Archie along for whatever reason. Cheryl sits on the judges’ table and flirts with Rex, inviting him to her “big party” tonight (which she might or might not have just decided to throw). He tells the “babe” that he’d like to, but he’s committed to helping the winners celebrate their victory.
After a time skip, Betty and Ronnie have won the tournament, and Betty is holding the trophy. Archie congratulates them. Ronnie is pissed at him for not being there when they “needed” him to root for them. Cheryl icily says, if Betty and Veronica don’t want him, then neither does she. Jughead runs over in excitement and asks Archie who today’s big winner was. Archie says Betty and Ronnie, and he considers himself today’s big loser, confusing Jughead. Betty, Ronnie, and Nancy walk off with Rex, and Cheryl walks off with…some random hunky dude.
This story was okay, I guess, but the perfume angle was stupid. It would have made more sense for Cheryl to influence the outcome of the tournament by being within sight of Betty and Ronnie the entire time.
Later in the issue, in his Editor’s Notebook, Victor Gorelick apologizes for a certain story called “Ear Ache” not appearing in Archie #447 as scheduled. In the April-dated issues, on sale this past February, he had promoted the story, in which Archie wears an earring, in his column. He claims he “received some very critical letters” and expects others. He apologizes to “all those readers who purchased a copy […] looking for that story”. He says “Ear Ache” was not ready on time, and, in order to avoid missing a “critical deadline”, he had to substitute another story in its place. It was an “unavoidable situation” that he hopes “will not happen again”. He’s planning to run “this elusive ‘earring’ story” in an upcoming Archie issue, sometime this fall (it eventually showed up at the end of Archie #455, cover-dated January of 1997). 2024 me is laughing at the absurdity of this entire thing.
After that is a Cheryl Blossom miniseries subscription offer order form. It tells us to subscribe to Cheryl’s “all new” miniseries (the Gets a Job one), even though, according to Comichron, the miniseries concluded in the same month that this issue was released (June). Furthermore, the miniseries began in April, the same month that Betty and Veronica #101 came out, despite Gorelick claiming in that issue that the miniseries would begin “next month”. And the order form in this issue refers to Cheryl Blossom Special #4 as “new”, despite the fact that it came out in February. Oh, look, that was also the month that Archie #447 (which was cover-dated May) came out, which was the same month in which Gorelick claimed he hyped “Ear Ache”, which he said wasn’t ready on time. All of this suggests Archie Comics was pretty bad at releasing and promoting stuff on time, even back then.
Riverdale Reviewed 